Family digital detox helps reconnect parents and children

VALLEY MILLS, Texas (KWTX) - Tabetha Koerth and her daughters spend time outdoors exploring the land around their home, walking along the creek nearby to find arrowheads and see wildlife.

The family has turned to regular digital detoxes as a way to reconnect away from smartphones and social media. Once a month, Koerth likes for herself and her daughters to separate from their devices for a weekend.

It’s not a completely digital free life. Koerth’s daughters, 12-year-old Penny and 15-year-old Lucy, stay connected with friends with their phones. Penny has a popular YouTube account with about 7,500 followers. Lucy manages social media for her school’s band.

“I legitimately don’t think people could function,” Lucy said about a world without phones.

Screen time concerns grow among experts

As a digital marketer and online investigator, Koerth knows how too much time spent online, especially on social media, can impact kids and adults. That can mean inducing anxiety or damaging self-esteem.

“It’s almost confidence collapsing. We only put the best versions of ourselves online. So they’re not seeing the struggles, they’re not seeing how they got to be viral millionaires,” Koerth said.

Dr. Kyle Hodges, a child and adolescent psychiatrist with Baylor, Scott and White, said too much screen time from phones, tablets, TV, computers and video games can create unhealthy behaviors at any age.

“I’ve seen as young as age two, they’ll get on an iPad and figure out how to play a game. I’ll even have first graders and second graders start having cell phones,” Hodges said. “They won’t separate from the device, there’s a constant fight about it.”

He says too much digital interaction can impact the way the brain works, causing worsening working memory, attention span and emotional regulation. There can also be issues with mental health, creativity and socialization.

Professional guidelines recommend limits

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says babies from zero to 18 months shouldn’t have any screen time at all. From 18 to 24 months, it’s an hour or less each day with only educational content allowed. From 2 to 5 years, the recommendation is an hour or less each weekday and 3 hours per weekend day with educational content preferred.

For ages six and up, there’s no specific recommendation, but the academy urges parents to limit activities that include screens, turn them off during family time and turn them off 30 minutes to an hour before bed.

In most cases, screen time is well outside of these boundaries. The academy says the average child in the U.S. gets 4 hours a day. And if you just look at teens, it’s even higher at more than 7.5 hours of screen time daily.

Hodges said parents should watch for signs that it’s time to address their child’s phone use and screen time.

“Basically they won’t do other things, it affects their relationships, it affects their performance in school. It starts to affect areas of their life. So it starts to create some kind of disturbance,” he said.

Gradual approach works best

Hodges said sometimes professional help is necessary, but many times parents can regulate things before they get to that point. To help children cut down on digital devices successfully, he recommends reducing time instead of going cold turkey, having replacement activities and leading by example.

That’s what Koerth does with her family.

“I do it too! I don’t just make them. When we all put our phones down, we all put our phones down,” she said.

The family recently went on a trip to a cabin in New Mexico to an area with no cell service and connected with nature.

“Especially when you take the time to go out of town, that’s when you connect. You have those real conversations and find out what they’re nervous about and what they’re worried about and what they want to do,” Koerth said.

When they’re home, they have mini digital blackout periods throughout the day, spending time in nature at the nearby creek. Koerth uses the time to teach the girls new skills, connecting through crafts and projects like sewing clothes and costumes, or practicing their favorite skills like art.

The children said one of the most important keys is that their mother is reasonable, giving them a heads up when there’s an upcoming digital-free period so they can let their friends know. She also allows them to plead their case if they need to use their phone for a school project.

“Honestly she’s really good if you just talk to her, if you express yourself, your needs, she’ll probably be ok with it,” one daughter said.

Koerth encourages any interested parent to try what her family has done.

She said, “I don’t think anybody gets upset about that time. Nobody looks back and says, ‘boy I wish I’d been on my phone all weekend,’ and so it’s never a regret.”

Some families have turned to alternative forms of technology to help with their digital detox. “Dumb phones” allow calls and sometimes texting but without the internet access or apps smartphones offer. Many are available for below $100, but some models can cost hundreds of dollars.

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